Why People Cheat on Their Partners

Divorces are at an all time high and on the rise and not surprisingly the most common cause for divorce is infidelity. So the question is; why do so many people betray their partners when they are in a so-called “committed” relationship? Some experts have even gone so far as to say that it’s human nature to look for more than a single partner. They claim that humans, like most species of animals, are not biologically programmed to preserve a monogamous relationship. But then why do some people cheat and others remain loyal?

When individuals who have committed adultery are asked as to why they did it, there are usually some very similar answers given.

At the very top of the list is the needs not met group. People within this group claim that their mate was just not satisfying their needs. Among the needs mentioned were emotional, sexual or that there was simply a lack of connection. Similar examples were also given such as, the woman who feels that her partner isn’t listening to her and does not pay enough, if any, attention to her. The married man who says, he’s not getting his sexual necessitates fulfilled or the wife that constantly is put on the back-burner due to her mate favoring TV, sports or other activities.

A lot of people claim to have had an outside affair because they needed to discover if they’ve missed out on something. Unfortunately, many who get into a relationship with little or zero sexual experience find later within their relationship that they’re questioning what other experiences are out there. And often with these thoughts comes the need to try something new.

“Fantasy” is another often used excuse as to why someone has cheated. Opportunists who would not ordinarily perpetrate in adultery but a situation arises where a fantasy can become real and they choose to take it. Some examples might be the good-looking stranger in the elevator or the deliveryman.

And then again, there is always the retaliation or revenge motive. Many a person has used adultery as a means of getting even with their mate. They’re angry and want to lash out and hurt their partner, often in retaliation for their mate having cheated.

As one gets older they may start to feel as though they may have lost their sex appeal. This frequently comes about as a phase of the mid life crisis syndrome. An individual in an effort to demonstrate to others and ultimately themselves that they’re still appealing may cheat on their partner. This person isn’t searching for a long-term relationship but rather they are simply interested in one night stands and other shortterm flings.

Sometimes people who are married or attached for a long time feel as if their relationship and their liveliness has become stagnant. They feel entrapped and incapable of changing the situation. To break from the rut, they resolve to try something untested and new, trusting that it will alter things in their life.

A few cheaters claim that they needed to determine if there was some else out there who could help them feel happier and/or more fulfilled. Instead of ending the relationship at a greater risk to themselves, they decide to be selfish and take the “‘smaller” gamble by looking around and exploring new relationships, all the while keeping the old relationship as back-up.

And finally, believe it or not, some people feel that cheating is normal or that they’re special and entitled to cheat. This can be either due to their rearing or their culture. Either way they experience no self-reproach about what they do. They feel it’s within their rights or it’s anticipated and warranted.

Whatever the grounds, most instances of cheating conclude the same way. That is with one person feeling hurt and betrayed and one person feeling guilt-ridden and ashamed. And both of them in divorce court.

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